That Invincible Feeling

I've recently purchased a Smith & Wesson SW9VE for carry-duty, range-work, and dry-fire practice. As with most people, I like pretty much everything about it...except for the trigger, which is gritty and heavy. There are other things I don't like about it: the trigger reach could be a millimeter or two shorter, the serrations on the slide could be wider and deeper or at least sharper, and it would've been nicer to have a Picatinny rail on it, instead of S&W's proprietary rail.

That being said, the thing I dislike most about it is the lack of accessories for it: there are no holsters or aftermarket parts available anywhere! The pistol has a rail, but it's S&W's proprietary rail system so the laser-sights and flashlights are limited to S&W's meager offerings.

So what is a do-it-yourself-er like me to do?

I made my own holster for it, having ordered Kydex holster material and other hardware parts online. It was pretty easy, too, since Kydex forms with heat and retains its shape once it has cooled (and can be formed again later). It was my first holster, which allowed me to customize it to my own needs (adjustable cant, full-shrouding, etc.). I was pretty proud of it, so I took it to show my dad.

He glanced at it and said, "I wish you had a different hobby."

I was taken a little aback and became somewhat hurt that my father didn't offer any praise for such a well-made and functional piece of hardware (he's a DIY-er himself, having made several modifications to his house and having made several pieces of useful furniture). He didn't seem impressed at all that I didn't display any reliance on a third party to get something done--he chose instead to give voice to his concerns about my interest in weapons.

"Guns have an evil spirit. If you're not careful, they'll suck your soul," he said--he actually said that! I suppose he's alluding to the supposed feeling of power guns give those who wield them. While I suppose there's an element of truth to that (I've heard stories of people getting shot or almost getting shot because someone thought the Four Rules didn't apply to them), I personally have never felt that sort of invincibility and I don't think I ever will. As a matter of fact, I actually feel more vulnerable when I wear my gun openly--I felt that way at my friend's party a few weekends back, openly-carrying for the first time with no legal requirement in the company of friends. I also felt that way at the Virginia Citizen's Defense League meeting on May 17th, with all of the press there. I didn't feel invincible--on the contrary, I felt meek and nervous, stepping out with all of those cameras.

I suppose for some people having a gun is empowering--not so for me; they actually increase my sense of humility, because I know that I'm not the best shot out there. Because with this deadly power I am not certain of how I would respond, now, should a situation arise, or how I would handle the aftermath. It's so much easier to be sheep, to be a victim--that way you're not responsible for anything that happens to you. To defend yourself, that's hard. You have to know how much force is justified, when it is justified, what you legally can and cannot do.

All of this adds up to making me more humble, not less, by carrying a gun and becoming responsible for my own defense.

I wish my dad could see that.